{"id":56121,"date":"2026-06-16T15:45:26","date_gmt":"2026-06-16T15:45:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.latraversee.qc.ca\/?p=56121"},"modified":"2026-06-25T20:12:14","modified_gmt":"2026-06-25T20:12:14","slug":"limiting-beliefs-sexual-violence-against-men","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.latraversee.qc.ca\/en\/limiting-beliefs-sexual-violence-against-men\/","title":{"rendered":"Sexual violence against men: limiting beliefs that deter people from seeking help"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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At La Travers\u00e9e, 16% of requests for help relating to sexual violence received over the last three years have come from men. Although fewer men than women seek our services, they still account for nearly one in five. \u201cMen face a double bind,\u201d explains Emmanuelle Despaties Nguyen<\/a><\/span>, a clinical sexologist and psychotherapist at La Travers\u00e9e, in an interview. \u201cTraditional masculine standards discourage seeking support, whereas the healing process often involves acknowledging one\u2019s vulnerability and expressing one\u2019s emotions \u2013 skills that are less valued in men.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>

Here are four common myths that illustrate this reality, along with what the research and clinical experience have to say about them.<\/p>

A man doesn\u2019t show his emotions, except when he\u2019s angry.<\/span><\/em><\/h3>

Suppressing your emotions doesn’t make them go away.<\/strong><\/h2>

Men experience a full range of emotions, just like all human beings. However, from a young age, boys are often taught that it is less acceptable for them to express certain emotions.<\/p>

\u201cAmong difficult emotions, such as sadness or disappointment, anger is generally the most socially acceptable for men,\u201d observes Emmanuelle Despaties Nguyen. \u201cThis is consistent with other traditional masculine norms, such as staying strong and being assertive.\u201d<\/p>

However, bottling up one\u2019s feelings can lead to a build-up of frustration and sadness [1]<\/a>, or even disproportionate reactions or more explosive behaviour [2]<\/a>.<\/p>

\u201cRecognising that emotions are legitimate, being able to name them and feel them helps to develop self-compassion and boost self-esteem,\u201d continues the psychotherapist.<\/p>

This recognition can help break the silence and make it easier to seek help, both for oneself and for other men.<\/p>

Physical reactions indicate a form of desire.<\/span><\/em><\/h3>

Some physiological reactions are beyond our control.<\/strong><\/h2>

Physical stimulation during a sexual assault can trigger an erection, or even ejaculation, regardless of the victim\u2019s mental or emotional state [3]<\/a>.<\/p>

\u201cEven when in a state of shock or distress, the body can react to sexual contact,\u201d insists Emmanuelle Despaties Nguyen. \u201cUnder no circumstances does a physical reaction imply consent or pleasure.\u201d<\/p>

Raising awareness of the concepts of consent and the body\u2019s involuntary reactions can help to challenge this misconception. Age-appropriate sex education in schools that addresses personal boundaries, respect and gender stereotypes can also help to bring about a shift in social attitudes.<\/p>

A real man wouldn’t have let that happen.<\/span><\/em><\/h3>

Everyone reacts to a threat differently and in unpredictable ways.<\/strong><\/h2>

When faced with danger or intense stress, the survival instinct kicks in. We usually think of the fight-or-flight response. However, some people freeze [4]<\/a> or submit out of fear of further violence.<\/p>

\u201cThe brain reacts automatically: it\u2019s beyond our control and can vary from person to person, as well as from one situation to another,\u201d adds Emmanuelle Despaties Nguyen.<\/p>

Furthermore, attackers may employ strategies designed to create a power imbalance or a situation of vulnerability that limits the victim\u2019s ability to defend themselves. The absence of resistance therefore does not call into question the victim\u2019s courage, strength or worth.<\/p>

Acts committed by women against men are not \u2018sexual assaults\u2019, but rather \u2018inappropriate behaviour\u2019.<\/span><\/em><\/h3>

Certain terms help to trivialise sexual violence perpetrated by women against men.<\/strong><\/h2>

In some victimisation surveys, up to 40% of men who report having been victims of sexual assault state that the perpetrator was a woman [5]<\/a>.<\/p>

Yet the language used in the public sphere to describe these acts is often less serious than in the reverse situation. Acts that would be classified as sexual assault when committed by men are more often described as \u2018crushes\u2019 or \u2018inappropriate behaviour\u2019 when perpetrated by women.<\/p>

\u201cThis myth is closely linked to gender stereotypes that portray men as always being interested in sex, and women as less likely to display aggression,\u201d observes Emmanuelle Despaties Nguyen.<\/p>

As a result, acts of sexual violence committed by women are more likely to be downplayed or trivialised, to instil a sense of shame in male victims, and to perpetuate silence [6]<\/a>.<\/p>

Some men find it difficult to see themselves as \u2018victims\u2019, which can delay reporting the abuse or seeking help. The terminology used to talk about sexual violence should be consistent, regardless of the person\u2019s gender.<\/p>

\u201cAs a society, let\u2019s broaden our understanding of masculinity and stop imposing outdated expectations on boys and men,\u201d urges the psychotherapist. \u201cShowing empathy, being vulnerable and knowing how to ask for help deserve to be valued just as much as courage and resilience.\u201d<\/p><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

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What does the support process at La Travers\u00e9e involve?<\/strong><\/p>

La Travers\u00e9e is a centre providing psychosocial support and psychotherapy for people in the Mont\u00e9r\u00e9gie region who are living with mental health issues resulting from sexual violence.<\/p>

The support is provided in the same way for people of all genders:<\/p>

  1. Get in touch with our team<\/a>, either on your own behalf or on behalf of someone else.<\/li>
  2. Psychosocial support workers assess each person\u2019s individual needs and the specific impacts on them.<\/li>
  3. A personalised support plan, which may include psychotherapy, psychosocial support and socio-legal support, is offered.<\/li>
  4. Our support staff are on hand to offer support, specialist resources and answers to your questions throughout the process, including while you are waiting for certain services.<\/li><\/ol>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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    \n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tContact us<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t
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    Bibliography<\/strong><\/p>

    [1]<\/a> Godbout, N., Canivet, C., Baumann, M., Brassard, A. (2019). Hommes victimes d\u2019agression sexuelle, une r\u00e9alit\u00e9 parfois oubli\u00e9e. Dans J.-M. Deslauriers, M. Lafrance, & G. Tremblay (Eds), R\u00e9alit\u00e9s <\/em>masculines oubli\u00e9es <\/em>(pp. 243-261). Qu\u00e9bec, : Presses de l\u2019Universit\u00e9 Laval. https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/399239868<\/a><\/span><\/p>

    [2]<\/a> Brassard, A., Darveau, V., P\u00e9loquin, K., Lussier, Y., et Shaver, P. R. (2014). Childhood sexual abuse, adult attachment, anger management, and intimate partner violence in a clinical sample of men. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment, and Trauma<\/em>, 23<\/em>(7), 683-704. https:\/\/www.tandfonline.com\/doi\/abs\/10.1080\/10926771.2014.933464<\/a><\/span><\/a><\/p>

    [3]<\/a> Forget, A.-A., Vandervoort, M., & Lalumi\u00e8re, M. L. (2024). University students’ perspectives on physiological sexual arousal in victims of sexual assault: The role of gender and rape myths. The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality<\/em>, 33<\/em>(3), 340\u2013356. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.3138\/cjhs-2024-0021<\/a><\/span><\/p>

    [4]<\/a> Haskell, L., & Randall, M. (2019). L’incidence des traumatismes sur les victimes d’agressions sexuelles d’\u00e2ge adulte<\/em> (Partie II \u2013 L’incidence neurobiologique du traumatisme sur le cerveau). Minist\u00e8re de la Justice du Canada. https:\/\/www.justice.gc.ca\/fra\/pr-rp\/jr\/trauma\/p3.html<\/a><\/span><\/p>

    [5]<\/a> Cortoni, Franca, Babchishin, Kelly M. et Rat, Cl\u00e9mence (2016). \u201cThe proportion of sexual offenders who are female is higher than thought\u201d. Criminal Justice and Behavior, 44(2), 145-162.
    https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1177\/0093854816658923<\/a><\/span><\/p>

    [6]<\/a> Gagnier, C., et Collin-V\u00e9zina, D. (2016). The disclosure experiences of male child sexual abuse survivors.\u00a0Journal of Child Sexual Abuse<\/em>,\u00a025<\/em>(2), 221-241. https:\/\/www.tandfonline.com\/doi\/full\/10.1080\/10538712.2016.1124308<\/a><\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    At La Travers\u00e9e, 16% of requests for help relating to sexual violence received over the last three years have come from men. Although fewer men than women seek our services, they still account for nearly one in five. \u201cMen face a double bind,\u201d explains Emmanuelle Despaties Nguyen, a clinical sexologist and psychotherapist at La Travers\u00e9e, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":16,"featured_media":55987,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-56121","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.latraversee.qc.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/56121","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.latraversee.qc.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.latraversee.qc.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.latraversee.qc.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/16"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.latraversee.qc.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=56121"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/www.latraversee.qc.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/56121\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":56444,"href":"https:\/\/www.latraversee.qc.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/56121\/revisions\/56444"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.latraversee.qc.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/55987"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.latraversee.qc.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=56121"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.latraversee.qc.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=56121"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.latraversee.qc.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=56121"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}